Sourdough: The reappearance of Alexander Hoe'r.
“April 17th 2017
Vials. Who knows where they came from, or what the ancient script on their small golden bodies ever meant, but God knows the power they possess.
Power that is extorted by people who’ve succumbed to greed.
I saw a guardian today while on a walk from work. He was tall, taller than I was, with long black hair that reached his waist and he was plump in figure.
Even with that power he had, he didn't escape from me.
And I watched him die by my hands.”
Water…
I could hear the sound of running water not far off in the distance…
My back was pressed against the hard wooden floor beneath me, I tightly held my eyes shut before I slowly opened them up only to find the beautiful blue sky above me and I quickly shot up to find I didn’t know where I was.
I looked around, fear shooting through me when I realised I was stranded on a small boat in the middle of a body of water while trees continued to drift past me with rays of sunlight trickling through the leaves and speckling the surface of the boat and there at the edge of the boat was the ferryman.
Their back was facing me, dressed in a white blouse and a large straw hat that overshadowed their face while they peacefully rowed the boat.
“Hello…?” I asked, as they turned around to face me, their face a black cloud of mist speckled with stars.
I parted my lips, “Who… Who are you…?” I asked again, my voice trembling slightly.
They paused, “My name is not important.” They spoke in a hushed voice as I loosened my shoulders and relaxed a bit.
“Alexander…” They spoke again.
“Alexander Hoe’r. I’m afraid that you are no longer alive.” They said.
I stared at the ferryman in bewilderment, trying to think of what to say.
I held my hand to my forehead, trying to remember what happened before now.
Yet my mind felt blank, gaps filling up my memory.
The forest… The forest above me, the leaves rustling above me…
But that’s all I could remember.
“I’m…” I paused, “I’m dead…?” My voice still quivering.
“Indeed,” The ferryman nodded, “You are dead.”
I stayed silent for a second as I stared off into the sky.
“How… How did I die…?” I asked them, looking back at them.
They took a moment to respond, “You were mauled to death, Alexander.” Their voice still kind and soft spoken. “But do not worry about the gaps in your memory, they will return to you shortly.” They said, continuing to assure me.
I stayed silent while the boat continued to drift forward and after a minute it took a stop by a small ledge.
The ferryman raised their hand, “We have reached your destination.”
reluctantly I got to my feet, “Number 734.” They said “I do wish you luck.” as they lended me their hand and helped me onto the ledge.
“Thank… Thank you…” I said, awkwardly raising my hand to wave goodbye.
The ferryman didn’t respond, only giving a curt nod before rowing off again.
And so, I slowly turned around to face the brick wall in front of me, overshadowed by a small roof as I approached the series of doors that lined a long hallway of sorts.
The first read 731, and I slowly passed by the doors, stopping at number 734.
I stood silently, reluctantly holding out my hand and grabbing onto the handle as I drew the door open.
Inside was a long hallway, the light from outside dragging onto the floorboards, and so I stepped inside, slowly shutting the door behind me.
I could hear rustling, before I heard someone shout from the other room.
“I’m coming-” They announced, before seeing someone rush around the corner.
“Oh-” They approached me hastily, holding out their hand “Nice to meet you, I’m Casper…!”
I reluctantly took their hand, as they enthusiastically shook it. “Alexander Hoe’r...” I said.
Casper nodded, “Welcome! Welcome! Come on in, you must be my new roommate then?” He asked me and stepped aside.
I parted my lips as I stood by the door in silence “I… I suppose so…? Yes.”
Casper smiled “I can show you your bedroom if you’d like?”
“Ah… Yes please...” I said. “I'd… I'd like that…”
“Of course!” He said, as he led me upstairs, where he stopped in front of three doors.
“The door in the middle is the shitter,” he said before walking to the door on the left. “And this is your bedroom.” He said, quickly drawing it open.
After a pause, “I assume you want to be alone?” He asked me.
“Ah- Yes… Yes please…” I told him as he nodded again.
“Alright then, just call me if you need anything.” He said, a friendly smile on his face.
I nodded and he walked off. I stepped into my bedroom, closing the door behind me, watching the small sliver of light vanish on the floorboards.
My bedroom looked almost exactly like my old bedroom in the apartment.
It honestly felt eerie but in a strange way I appreciated it, the similarity felt comforting at least, or maybe it was sinister more than anything. I couldn't tell.
In the corner stood my mirror.
I slowly walked up to it. My face staring back at me with my hair draped over my face.
I was dead…
It felt so hard to fathom. So unreal to me…
But I guess I didn’t have much to lose. A part of me is almost disappointed there even was an afterlife…
I was dead.
I was… Really dead.
But in the end the sun still rose the next morning.
Rain hit the roof as sunlight shined through the window and I was still in bed, staring up at the ceiling.
I let out a sigh as I pulled the bedsheets over my head and shut my eyes, the rain soothing me as I held myself.
I was meant to see Charlotte…
Charlotte Marie Anderson. A friend… She always did what she believed in. I admired that about her. I was never half as caring as she ever was.
And then Rita, my girlfriend. I hoped she knew about my death, that they found the body, that she had some semblance of closure.
I wanted to say goodbye, but any message I sent wouldn’t deliver, and every call never went through. No matter what I did. They were unreachable from here.
I heard a knock on the door, Casper again surely, every now and then he checked up on me.
I slowly got up as I stumbled to the door, drawing it open to find him standing on the other end.
“You good mate?” He asked, peering his head inside.
I reluctantly spoke. “Ah, yeah… Fine, fine… Just… Sad.” I said, my voice barely able to fabricate any sounds.
He nodded his head, as he smiled awkwardly “There's coffee and a guest for you downstairs.” He told me, standing up straight and gesturing downstairs.
“Oh, thanks…?” I told him, a slight hint of confusion at who'd possibly come to visit me. “I’ll… Be there in a second.”
He reluctantly turned around while I got dressed, slowly heading downstairs to the kitchen.
The dull morning light trickled into the room and by the counter sat a freakishly tall figure, hunched over the countertops. They had a sickly pallor to them, and long black hair that draped over them.
Casper was already in the kitchen, standing behind the counter while I seated myself beside them.
They slowly turned their head around to look at me, their gaunt face looking back at me with their bulging black eyes staring me down, never breaking eye contact.
“Alexander? Now was it?” They asked, their voice was deep yet there was a softness to it.
“Yes. I am…” I said. “You are…?”
“Avery Foewell.” They answered curtly. Holding out their hand for me to shake. Their spindly cold fingers stinging my skin as I took their hand.
Casper grabbed a mug from the cupboards “He’ll help you if you need anything… They’re kinda like a guide. I suppose…” He explained, giving a side eye while he poured coffee into my mug and handing it to me.
“Thank you.” I said, bowing my head.
After a moment of silence I parted my lips “Why did you and the ferryman know my name?” I asked “Or how I died.”
“Oh why, they keep records of it all, reckon it’s just such a waste, however.” He said “Afterall, you vermin all fade away in a year or two. A pathetic waste of space, really.”
Me and Casper exchanged glances for a moment before I looked at my reflection in my coffee.
“Well. That aside.” I parted my lips, looking up at Avery who was still staring me down. “Is… There a way to get back?” I asked.
He tutted after a pause as they shook their head gently. “Why…” They spoke softly, “Why, yes. Yes there is, my friend.” Only, the words ‘my friend’ didn't feel particularly sincere.
“How?” I asked.
“Why then, why don’t you meet me at my unit?” They said, as they smacked me on the back, rising up from their seat. “Won't that just be nice?”
“But enough, I can’t handle your face.” He said, clasping their hands together as they faced us.
Casper rolled his eyes as he walked Avery to the front door.
I trailed behind them as Casper ushered Avery out of the house before he turned around, letting out a defeated sigh.
“What a bastard.” He said “But anyway, with that out of the way…”
“Ah…” I said “What a pleasant person”
Casper shrugged with a chuckle “Yeah…” He said “You don't say?”
“But it is what it is…” He added.
“Do you know them?” I asked after a pause.
He paused. “Well…” He said “A bit, I guess everyone knows them, really.”
“Around here, anyway.” He said. “They're one of the guides in our street.”
“They were my ‘guide’, but not that they're much of a guide… I'll be honest.” He said “It surprises me they're even in the position to begin with…”
I chuckled, not knowing quite what to say.
What a strange person they were…
“April 18th 2017
This world is a strange one, it morphs at my will. In that same vein, the world is the same, exactly the same, because is that not what I expect it to be? That is what I remember it to be, how it should be.
Today a large gentleman paid me a visit. Tall, freakish, sickly and gaunt.
He told me about my fate. My punishment. I was going to be here for a long time.
I couldn't help but feel he was familiar to me.”
The forest trees loomed over me, small specks of light trickling through the leaves and onto my skin as I strolled through the forest, finding a place to seat myself under a tree.
I looked up at the sky, my hair gently blowing in the wind.
I looked down again, lifting my vial from around my neck as I gently held it in my hands and shut my eyes, feeling my clothes transform on my body.
Slowly I opened my eyes again, standing up and twirling before I started walking around.
I was close to a nearby hotel, with the building peaking through the trees in the distance.
As I looked at the hotel I heard rustling from behind me.
I turned my head around to find a middle aged woman standing by a tree, pale grey skin and long silver hair as she watched me. She looked to be wearing a uniform.
She approached me as I froze up slightly. “Ah, hello…?” I said, “I'm not trespassing, am I…?”
She paused for a moment. “No.“ She said “You aren’t.”
I chuckled nervously, “Ah good, apologies…” I said, turning around to leave and started to walk back to the edge of the forest.
Continuing to look behind me I noticed the woman was still following me and it wasn't long before I started running away but I could hear her footsteps still trailing behind me.
Stumbling through the forest, I kept looking behind me to watch her.
She had closely followed behind me as I continued to run.
I felt my shoe jam into a branch from under me, tripping and collapsing onto the forest bed with a heavy grunt.
I held my eyes shut, holding my head in searing pain.
Continuing to roll around onto my back, I slowly opened my eyes.
She stood over me, looking down with her eyes firmly fixed on me as she bent over, reaching out her arms as she attempted to grab me.
I shoved her away, as I tried to get back on my feet only to be pulled down by my legs.
I tried to get away, digging my nails into the dirt trying to pry myself away.
But I couldn’t escape.
I felt her nails dig into my flesh as I let out a guttural scream.
She sunk their nails deeper into my flesh, slowly clawing up to my waist, wrapping her arms around me as she lifted me into the air.
Her nails dug into my stomach as I turned my head around to look at her, finding beady black eyes staring into my soul instead. The woman had become a horrific bat-like creature.
She unhinged her jaw, a row of fine, sharp teeth lining the inside of her mouth.
She drew me closer as I screamed in terror.
But it was too late.
Far too late.
I shot up in bed, panting heavily.
Taking a moment to collect my thoughts, running my fingers through my hair, I turned my head around, looking through my bedroom window, it was still dark. It was raining again…
I relaxed a bit, letting out a sigh before collapsing back into my bed.
I wondered.
Was that how I died?
Pulling my bedsheets aside and getting out of bed, I stood in front of the mirror. It felt like her nails were still digging into my skin.
I lifted my shirt, small scabs formed from where she had dug into my flesh and then next to my appendix scar was a large and thick one, wrapping around me. At my will, I now had them. And my hands felt dirty, they felt… Filthy…
The sun rose, the sky was grey today as me and Casper sat in the small world we created: the ruins of a church in a barren field. With the wind gently blowing through my hair with my parasol overshadowing my face.
“Casper…?” I asked.
He turned to look at me, his long curly hair billowing gently. “Hm?” he hummed. “What is it?”
“I got my memories back this morning…” I said, turning my head away and looking into the horizon.
“Oh, really?” he said.
“Yeah…” I said “I was murdered.”
Casper let out a chuckle. “You alright mate?” he asked me.
“Yeah… I’m alright.” I told him.
He wrapped his arm around me, leaning against me “Oh good.”
“Are you ever going to go to Avery?” He asked me.
I stared off into the horizon. “No… I don't think I will…” I told him.
“It's not worth it.” I turned to look at him as I let out a chuckle.
He nodded, laying down onto the floor. “Yeah, I get that.” he said “I wouldn’t either.”
“Sad you couldn't get to say goodbye to your friends however.” he said. “it’s always painful when you don't get the chance to say goodbye to the people you love…”
“Heh, yeah…” I chucked, letting out a sigh “Oh well.” as I laid down onto the tile floor beside him.
“I feel better, at least.” I said “I’m feeling less depressed lately…”
“Hehe. Well that's nice, ain't it?” he said, a smile on his face.
I smiled back, “It is.”
“May 18th, 2017
He wasn't supposed to die.
And I suppose I had a heavy price to pay for it too. Is that not why I’m here?
I remember how she forced me to carry his body to the river, a 100 kilogram body all alone. I remember washing his body in the river stream, my hands touching his skin that had lost its life.
I’d since grown to despise her, I didn’t think she’d discard of me like this.
She asked me to lay out his body for the public to find. Arrange it back together, he was intact, even if he was severed by his waist. She asked me to dress him again too.
I don’t know what happened to him. I don’t remember what happened to me.
But his dark grey eyes looked back at me, I remember it vividly. They were wide open and lifeless. Never did I have to watch one of them looking back at me. Never did I have to watch one of them decay.
And they reminded me of my father’s.”